Event: Cross Country Category: UCI Junior Women 17-18 Result: 45th Exploring endless fields of wildflowers. Enjoying an easy spin with a view. Morning walks. After Ussel and a ten-hour drive later, we pulled into Albstadt, Germany. Our little house was embedded somewhere in the middle of a glowing forest. We spent the days leading up to the race frolicking in fields full of wildflowers, wandering the town, snacking at bakeries and playing with goats. I was ecstatic to find a course full of long climbs that were guaranteed to be leg-wrecking and fun, fast but technical descents. Although it poured the week before, the sun made a special pre-race day appearance to dry out the course to ideal conditions. Race day found me more ready than ever. I had a feeling it was going to be my day. My legs felt good, the course suited me perfectly and I was riding smoothly. Warming up, I could not stop smiling; I was so excited! I was called up ninth to the line and sitting in the second row, right where I wanted to be. The gun shot sent us off, and for a second, everything was still. I was perfectly aware of my body as I slithered into the front row almost effortlessly. Coming into the first climb, the road in front of me was open and with a little push, I was leading. I felt smooth as we ascended farther. I took the top line in the split in the fire road and came out in fourth wheel, a perfect spot to settle in to. Wham! Out of nowhere, my “dizziness” collided with me. I could almost feel the blood drain from my face as we hit the first descent. I held the top four wheels on the swooping, muddy corners but as soon as we hit a tempo section, I started moving backwards. Well, not literally but I certainly stopped moving forwards. By the third out of four laps, I was close to dead last. I certainly had not put in months and months of sacrifice and training to end up at the bottom of the pack, with absolutely everything. However, it was everything I had. I did my best to keep my pedals turning on the climbs and found a bit of flow on the downhill. I discovered for the first time that I wasn’t racing for results, but instead directly to prove to myself that I would not quit. The fourth lap, my dizziness was still raging but subsided enough for me to pick off a couple of girls by catching them on the descents and spinning the pedals the best I could to hold it. I finished 45th out of 60 starters. As I crossed the line, overwhelming relief settled over me. Around me, other finishers were clung to their loved ones, tears spilling abundantly from their eyes and I made a small decision. If I was going to fight my dizziness, I didn’t want to feel sorry for myself. Every racer faces challenges, and this is going to be mine. At the end of the day, temporary hardship can only make me stronger and more thankful for all the incredible opportunities I do have. As I sit on the plane, headed home, and write this, I can really only feel grateful to have had the opportunity to represent the United States of America internationally, line up against some of the best in the world and continue engaging in the amazing learning process of racing. In my few weeks home before heading to Canada for a race there, I plan on continuing the battle in solving my autonomic nervous system disorder with ferocity. I can say with confidence that I will figure out a better solution than my current one and be back fighting in no time. I can’t say thank you enough to my family, coach, boyfriend, teammates and sponsors for sticking by me through this crazy journey.
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Events: Cross Country Category: UCI Juniors 17-18 Result: 10th Late Tuesday afternoon found me arriving in the Amsterdam airport, exhausted, hungry and relieved to finally be in Europe after months of anticipation. I met up with the rest of the US junior team that would be joining me for the travels in the Netherlands, France and Germany for the next two weeks. After a couple hour drive, we arrived in Sittard for two nights at the USA Cycling base. We explored the countryside and spun out the legs. Before I knew it, we were back in the car for a 13 hour drive to Ussel, France. Scattering cabins in the French country side awaited us and I was more than comforted to finally have a space to settle into after a few rough days of travel. We arrived at the course and I was thrilled to find a slick course with punchy climbs, rolling drops, clawing roots and lots of fun drops awaiting me. Although I had recently found out that I had a sinus infection and was still on antibiotics, I had done months of preparation for this event and I could not wait to race. I felt smooth and confident on the course. The night before the race rolled around and despite being in bed at 9:00 pm, a combination of the time change and excitement kept me up pretty late. A 7:00 am wakeup call found the girls and me in the van, race ready. I was a little groggy but I got a good warm up in and felt more ready and relaxed than ever. I made my way to the staging and was surprised to find that not only were we starting with the juniors, but also the U23 and Pro women, and instead of separating the groups, they had mixed us all together. Although I was fourth call up in the junior category, I was third row combined and could only see a few juniors around me. The announcer was speaking French and before I knew it, the whistle blew and we were off. I had good positioning off the line but quickly fell far back. Coming into the third corner, I was about 30 people off the junior leader. I was surrounded by racers and desperately fought to keep moving up. My legs felt powerful but there was so much traffic I had a lot of trouble moving forward. I would pass a group of girls but get caught behind another, and be forced to unclip and run. I got into a rhythm of passing, running and pushing on the climbs. I passed a few juniors and was working with a junior in red for a while. On a steep rock drop, the girl grabbed her brakes and I was forced to skid out. Two junior girls passed me back, along with the girl in red vanishing. I had to work to reel back the other two but the girl in red was gone. Finally, on the third out of four laps, I stopped stopped changing position and was caught in no-mans-land. I focused on settling into a rhythm of pushing hard on the climbs and descending smoothly. I still felt good but couldn’t make progress. I crossed the line in tenth, feeling like I rode a good race but disappointed I didn’t have a chance to compete with the girls in front of me. I feel so lucky to have such an amazing support team from my coach, Dario Fredricks, my sponsors, my parents, teammates and USA Cycling. Now onto Albstadt, Germany for my first World Cup!
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